The Voice of Lupus Foundation

A Pillar of Strength


on September 30, 2013

vlf victor of lupus

I spent a long time trying to find the right start to this blog.

Today I chose to start with my testimony that occurred three weeks ago. It had been almost two years I opted to stop taking all my medication that was used to control my lupus and manage my recurring flares.

I also discharged myself from the Rheumatology Clinic at the San Fernando General Hospital after doctors wanted to start me on Cyclophosphamide- a chemotherapy drug back in 2011.

It was there I decided to cease all treatments.

Before the story unfolds further, let me take you back a bit.

I had been suffering for several years, trying to adjust to a life living with Systemic Lupus.

In 2009, I also suffered a nervous breakdown, made some poor choices and recovered from an addiction to morphine. I even lost my job as a broadcast journalist at a top Radio Network in Trinidad and Tobago owing to the poor decisions I made while trying to grip with living with a terminal disease and hide my addiction.

I had hurt many of my friends in the process.

You see, Systemic Lupus Erythematosus is really a misunderstood disease; but those who face a diagnosis are misunderstood the most. Medical experts say Lupus is a chronic debilitating auto immune disease without a cure. It can attack without warning… but lupus does not only affect you physically, it breaks you down mentally and emotionally.

I hit rock bottom many times.

There were moments I convinced myself that I was in fact a “nutcase” and needed to be institutionalized.

I was going out of my mind.

Looking back, it was all a process… A process- a dark period in my life that led me to the present and shaped me into the woman I have become through recommitting my life and making Jesus Christ Lord over my everything.

Being a Christian, a true example of Jesus’ life is not an easy walk in this day and age. There are many temptations that exist including lifestyle choices and selfish habits. The spirit of man may be willing, but the flesh overpowers and is weak!

Even in my Christian walk to this day, I sometimes fall and stumble. Mistakes are made and poor choices seem to rule. But I have learnt that we must stop thinking for God and take comfort in the fact that it was for this very reason Christ died on the cross…He died to redeem mankind from sin…to restore the hopeless and those broken by the hardships of life.

We can never truly comprehend just how much God loves us…even when we mess up and fall short.

During the ending of August of 2013, I found myself in a situation which I wish to keep private; however I had to seek out one of my doctors I once vowed I would never return to see. As I mentioned earlier, I had checked myself out of the lupus clinic and for almost two years, I refused to touch any of my medications.

Many thought I was out of my mind; others questioned whether or not I did in fact have Lupus.

However, my rationale for coming off the medications was an act of faith, believing that if Jesus brought back Lazarus who was already stinking in his grave to life…he could surely do it for me!!!

It was during a three day prayer and fast service at my church at Jesus Elam in Barataria, I prayed, fasted and petitioned Jesus for my healing. After all, Jesus did say that “by his stripes we are healed and made whole” I spent most of my life naked, broken and ashamed. I was a lost cause without Jesus…. Ironically, it took Lupus to teach me that!

After seeking the help of my doctor, I had to undergo a barrage of tests which is quite normal for a lupus patient. The doctor began testing to trace the disease and its activity in my body. I underwent a full blood analysis, Kidney and Liver function tests, ANA (Antinuclear Antibodies), the ANF ( Anti Nuclear factor) and the double strand DNA tests were also included. Nothing could be done until these results were ready…it would take one week.

The following week, I saw my doctor again…He seemed confused.

Questioning his reaction and then examining my test results, he began to explain that there was no trace of Lupus in my body and both my kidney and liver tests were normal. The ANA (Antinuclear Antibodies), the ANF (Anti Nuclear factor) and the double strand DNA tests were also negative. There was no indication that my immune system had been compromised.

Medically, I am in remission; however, I give Glory to God because there are no questions that I AM HEALED. What Jesus has done for me; shall be permanent…the Devil continues to plot, deceive and try to steal what God has spoke over my life, but I find comfort in knowing that I am a victor and not a victim. Jesus and his angels are on my side.

I am no longer a victim of Lupus, but a victor.

I did have to undergo a minor surgical procedure, but I am fully recovered.

You may not believe my words, but I implore you to believe in the power of God. If he did for me and he did it for Lazarus …then he will surely do it for you! Healing is available to everyone….all we need to do is just surrender our all to Jesus and believe that our problems are nothing compared to his power.

Do not give up on God because HE will NEVER give up on you!

4 Responses to “A VICTOR OF LUPUS”

  1. davianah B. davidson says:

    Dear Victor;
    I am so happy to read your testimony n triumph over lupus.I am encouraged by your faith and courage to share,lupus is a diseases that changes your entire life but I am glad you found the strength to share your experinces. Remained blessed n in faith

  2. Jamie Flore says:

    Dear Victor,

    I stand with you in victory over lupus. Your story is very similar to my own, dates and years included. The Lord is working in people with Lupus. I used to believe that lupus needed more advocacy, but like you I now believe it is the power of Christ that must be shouted unto the heavens from lupus sufferers. I am glad to know there is someone wlse out there like me… a sister in Christ.

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